Anchovies

I have a few more weeks of work left on my thesis. Because the thought of writing is so abhorrent, I try not to think it. This means I've been watching a lot of Food Network. The other day I saw the recipe for the meal seen on the left -- grilled tuna with white bean puree and roasted cherry tomatoes -- and decided I had to make it.

The Food Network chef was Tyler Florence. I think he's mean but sometimes I watch his show because I like his green-tiled, turquoise-cabineted kitchen and his copper pans. His recipes are pretty basic but he "dresses them up" with fancy ingredients and plating. This morning, for example, Tyler made Swedish meatballs and acted like he invented electricity.

I see no compelling reason to trust Tyler Florence. Of all the Food Network shows I've seen, I've only made a handful of recipes from them. So why did I have to make this tuna recipe? I have no idea, just a sneaking suspicion. It had something to do with the beans. I decided one day that I like beans and have been trying unsuccessfully for years to make them. This recipe seemed foolproof. In addition, the beans contained a secret ingredient I've been curious about for months: anchovies. Food Network chefs are always praising the anchovy. "Just chop them up and they'll literally melt into whatever you're making." I wanted to see for myself.

So I bought a can of anchovies. I opened it up, expecting gleaming white buttery soft fillets packed in fresh, clean olive oil. But this is what they looked like: red, pungent, tough alien worms, full of bones, and packed in a gruesome red juice. I pulled two of them out and tried chopping them up. They didn't instantly dissolve into a paste for me like they did for Tyler or Giada or the evil Rachel Ray. They just bounced around on the cutting board under my knife.

Chad ended up chopping them up. I put them in the beans, but reluctantly. Perhaps they added something to the beans, some sort of "je ne sais quoi" essential to the flavor. I couldn't taste them. But knowing they were in there...